The title of this chapter is a phrase that I personally developed. To me it is a straight forward, polite, honest, quick, empowering structure of precisely selected words that clearly explain an idea. It is not meant to degrade or insult. However, it has been my experience that many seem to get offended when I voice this to them or in their presence. I think this is because of my use of the word "try" in this phrase. I will further explain.
The word "try" has been babied so much by us all that it has slid down the scale into the ranks with "losing". We have been conditioned as a whole to collectively agree that it’s "ok" to lose over and over again as long as we "try". There are even some who take pride in constantly losing because they can exclaim that they "tried". So I do believe that my placement of the word "try" with "Losers" may have ruffled some feathers. But stay with me and you will most likely agree with my reasoning that is behind the phrase.
Of course I agree that we all need to “try” hard but I caution the person who gets comfortable with losing because they tried because this creates a loser’s mentality. When we tell ourselves that we are going to “try” to do something we’ve already introduced the possibility of failing the task into our mind. This means that when things get a little difficult, we will start to consider our bail-out plan because we know that it’ll be "ok" because we “tried”. When a bail-out plan exists there is no true commitment. If we’re tired and/or frustrated we will more than likely choose to bail instead of seeking other options while fighting through the situation. We may even trick ourselves to accept trying as “winning” when we lose
I would like to support my thoughts on “trying” by directing you to read the behavior and expression of someone who says, “Ok… I’ll give it a try.” Their expression is usually defeated and the words are probably accompanied with an unconfident shrug of the shoulders. You may even be able to witness as this person approaches the task with minimal enthusiasm because they already told you that they might fail.
How can this be acceptable for one who is striving to conquer a desired goal? When we tell ourselves that we are going to “do” something, we leave ourselves with no choice but to do everything to reach the goal. There is no bail-out plan when things get rough so we have to consider all options, adapt and even get creative when the $hit hits the fan. This allows us to grow and become better, smarter, faster and stronger.
When we commit to a purpose with full sincerity, we begin to tap into our spirit. It’s better for us to “do” it than to “try” to do it. I have proven this truth through consistently positioning myself in situations where I am not allowed to give up regardless of how bad things may go. And whenever things appeared to be terribly hopeless, my mind would surprisingly reveal new options that I had no prior knowledge of. Options that weren't available when things were flowing ok or good, because I wasn't pressured to have to take survival steps.
When we fail it should be a horrible surprising shock that we had no idea of because we were to committed & focused on achieving the goal. Our failure should be heartbreaking at the moment. Losses should never feel ok. The only thing that it is ok to feel about losing is to HATE losing while maintaining top notch sportsmanship. But we can never allow ourselves to feel ok with failing because we “tried”. “Losers try, winners do!” is the mantra of the soon to be champion with plans to beat everyone who “tries” to beat him.
...and this is a way of the "Warrior's Edge"