Updated: Feb 26
Loneliness is a situation that many people fear deeply with all their heart. They would rather be in the company of people that they gravely dislike over being alone. Since human beings are social creatures it is understandable that we would prefer the company of others most of the time. Human beings like to eat, play, work, grieve, sleep, and much more together. And we accomplish greater feats together than alone. We as human beings support each other's growth and happiness as well as providing comfort in safety. It is oblivious to humans how much we depend on each other as well as that which we count on each other for. This reveals why human beings become afraid and get lonely when they are alone. But the act of being alone has more to offer us as human beings than fear. It offers power!
There is a difference between loneliness and being alone. Loneliness is the emotion that one feels when they define being alone as a negative moment without others. Being alone is the act of presence in a place where no others are accompanying or surrounding you. One is a thought and the other is an act. Alone is in the physical and loneliness is in the mind. And you may be shocked but the only one out of the two that can cause any harm to a person is the one that is in the mind, loneliness. This is because the person who is lonely in their mind can convince their self to fall into a depression or panic.
To be "alone" is to be with only our self. The warrior does not fear moments with himself. In fact, he must look forward to them as they are moments when he is not distracted from self. To enjoy being alone is to enjoy being with self. It is time to evaluate, study, and re-calibrate ourselves. There is so much that we can do with ourselves when alone, that there shouldn't be time for thoughts of loneliness to enter our thoughts. And we must admit that it is ironic for us to dislike being alone with our self, while at the same time expecting others to enjoy being alone with us. It doesn't make logical sense.
The embracement of loneliness and practice of being alone combined, ("Art of Alone") create a specialty mindset of mental strength that is a treasured requirement in the fabric that weaves the "Warrior's Edge". It is an opening of the mind that erases the imaginary fear of loneliness from our thoughts so it can no longer bully our decision making. This frees us to see things that we once were afraid to look at, and to go places where we never would have taken our self. This widens our options, nurtures our self assurance, peaks our curiosity, charges our ambition, and vitalizes our courage.
When alone we are free to think and process our thoughts without the distraction or influence of others. This is where we get to calmly meet and learn who we truly are. When high stress moments invade our life, our inner self is what receives the mass of the pressure. How we will respond at that moment will be heavily determined by what we honestly think of the "self" that we "know" deep inside, and if we trust our self relationship enough to face the deed. Well, if we never spend time alone with our self, how can we trust or even know our self? And these are the moments where people crack under the pressure.
High stress moments pull "loneliness" straight to the forefront of our thoughts, even if we are surrounded by other people or friends. That's because the people present don't matter because they can't help you. The situation positions you to have to handle it ALONE! Once the mind processes this it reaches into the memory banks of the known responses for lonely moments which would normally be FEAR! But if you have practiced the "Art of Alone" by embracing loneliness and practicing being alone, your memory bank of loneliness will be stockpiled with an arsenal of calm, self realization, confidence and ambition, ready to handle the task at hand. All because you re-programmed your mind to translate loneliness as progress & positivity.
We must practice the "Art of Alone" to cultivate this life advantaging mindset. Here are some exercises that you can do:
Lock yourself in your bathroom with nothing for extended periods of time. Allow yourself to get bored so your mind will go into its own thoughts. Practice regulating what you’re thinking and controlling emotion. Do this 2-3 times per week for 30mins to an hour.
Go alone to visit a place of nature such as a vacant spot on the beach, woods, mountains, a building, riverside, cemetery etc… Don't bring distractions. Be mindful that you are there and of what is there with you.
Spend a couple of minutes every morning after awakening, sitting alone in calm thought and breathing.
Practice well the "Art of Alone" and you can program yourself to respond the way that you want to respond during high stress moments making these moments a task instead of a threat.
...and this is a way of the Warrior's Edge